FUN STUFF
Return a favor
A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his car: "I have circled the block for 20 minutes. I am late for an appointment and if I don't park here, I will lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a parking ticket and this note: "I have circled this block for 20 years and if I don't give you a ticket, I will lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
Happily ever after?
Two women came before King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry my daughter!" said the other.
And so, they haggled before the king until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," he said, "and I shall cut the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first woman. But the other woman said, "Oh sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man shall marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to cut him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Indeed," said King Solomon, "that shows that she is indeed the true mother-in-law."
Joining The Lord's Army
A man was coming out of a church one day when the pastor, who was standing at the door, grabbed the man's hands and pulled him aside, "You need to join the army of the Lord!"
The man replied, "I am already in the army of the Lord, Pastor."
"Why is it I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" asked the pastor. The man leaned over and whispered, "I'm in the secret service."
